Eating Banana's

Alarming sights have recently been seen in the Sutton area as some weeks ago a large organic mass was seen wallowing down the road breathless and weighty. One passer by described the vision as being blond with barrage balloon like breasts that wobbled as if they were two beach balls trapped under canvas. However, in recent days the self same blonde blob has shed amazing amounts of fat turning into, as one male with a large appetite for young females said, a feast of pure sexual beauty.

A photographer from the local newspaper has been dispatched to gather pictorial evidence and is currently camouflaged as a privet hedge outside the young females bathroom with his lens polished and his camera primed.

Snotworthy Littlehampton,
Purveyor of Exquisite Cheese,
OYEAH Design in Pants,
Penal Pint Tomb

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.aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Life's Just Not Fair . . .

Paddy and a Polish immigrant were short listed for a job with a Dublin construction firm.  The manager could not separate them on the strength of their CV's, so he asked them to take a written test.  They agreed.

The test consisted of 20 questions, and both had 19 questions correct.  The manager asked to see Paddy in his office and said that, sadly, he had decided to give the job to the Pole.  

Paddy remonstrated' "BeJasus, boss!  How can ye give the job to a foreigner on the strength of both of us giving one incorrect answer"

"Well you see, son," said the manager, "It was question 7.  The Polish candidate wrote 'I do not know the answer to this question'."

"And . .  " said Paddy.

"And you wrote 'Neither do I'."

Gotta love kids...

This one is for everyone who...
a) has kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this' , and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said ,
'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,'
pretending to eat them..

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied,
'What happened to my bogey?










...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Good on yer, girlfriend

...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Toothpaste Revenge

Kath's preceding title has prompted me to add this snippet of useless information. It demonstrates the kind of weekend I'm having...

I had toothpaste take it's revenge on me this morning, for all those times I'd sqeedged its tube's belly to get a blob of dentifrice from its orifice to polish my gnashers. I was being a good girl, you see, brushing my teeth after eating breakfast, thus giving it the opportunity to retaliate. It waited until it reached its foamiest, most dribblesome consistency, whereupon it leaped through my brush-ambushed lips, and drolloped half a dozen elongated, oval splodges on my nice, clean sweater. Shall I wear them with pride, as proof of oral hygiene, or shall I discard the jumper, virtually unworn, and use up more water and soap powder than our struggling planet might like? What would you do?

Women's revenge

'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'



...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

SEX at 82!

SEX AT 82!

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 82!


I'm sooooo happy, because I live at 102... so it's not too far to walk home afterwards!






fabulous photo from Geekphilosopher

...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.