The 25th

Christmas is Really Fantastic

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aNOtHEr fIlLEt fROm ThE mAGpIE cOLlEctiVe.

Have a Beatley Crimble!

and a Proposterous New Year to all my blogging chums!

The Twelve Days of Christmas Lament

On the twelve days of Christmas my true-love gave to me

some very nice presents but now it’s February

and the twelve drummers drumming are driving me insane

and the neighbours keep complaining and I've got an aching brain

but at least the leaping lords have gone, they leapt over the wall

and my true-love’s presents would be fine if my house was not so small

We've only got two bedrooms and the drummers sleep in one

In the other are the dancing girls which sounds like lots of fun

but I have to share under the stairs with the milkmaids and the hoover

and what with the urns and the cow and all, there’s not much room to manoeuvre

At least they’re up at the crack of dawn and a few winks I can steal

Until the geese start cackling. Goose eggs for every meal?

And we can’t coax the partridge down from the pear tree – Lord, we’ve tried

and the constant drumming upset the doves who commited suicide

and the swans swam off, well who can blame them? Lord what a palava!

The calling birds and hens were freed by a man in a balaclava

The best present was the five gold rings which I sold for quite a lot.

Next year I'd like something useful, please.

Like a holiday somewhere hot.

by Roger Stevens

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr drIp INtO ThE mIldEw pIDdLe.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

I have Never Seen a Straight Banana

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mURkEy MudDLe.