Bit Of A Teaser

Though not of the usual kind. This is an example of an etheree - ten lines, each growing by one syllable per line, from one to ten. Not quite as easy as it may appear... Try to write one, if you don't believe me...

Pocketed
 
Red
shiny
snooker balls
cluster tightly
in a triangle.                            
Like ripe, juicy cherries
sitting plump on green baize ground,
they wait for the game to commence.
Cannoning cue ball breaks formation;
one red sphere rolls to meet its destiny.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

THE FLIES CRAWLED UP THE WINDOW by Ray Starita & His Ambassadors

The flies crawled up the window,
It’s all they have to do
They went up by the thousand
And came down two by two.
The flies crawled up the window,
They said we love to roam
So once more up the window,
And then we’ll all go home

(Orchestral interlude)

The flies crawled up the window
They said let’s have a race
We backed a fly called Oswald
To win and for a place
At five to one he started,
He soon got in his stride
He started crawling sideways
And he got disqualified

(Orchestral Interlude)

The flies crawled up the window
In sunshine and in rain
They do not seek for pleasure
They much prefer the “pane”
And if those flies annoy you
Then here’s what I advise
Just don’t have any windows
And then you’ll have no flies

(Jack Hulbert / Douglas Furber / Vivian Ellis)

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Eating Banana's

Alarming sights have recently been seen in the Sutton area as some weeks ago a large organic mass was seen wallowing down the road breathless and weighty. One passer by described the vision as being blond with barrage balloon like breasts that wobbled as if they were two beach balls trapped under canvas. However, in recent days the self same blonde blob has shed amazing amounts of fat turning into, as one male with a large appetite for young females said, a feast of pure sexual beauty.

A photographer from the local newspaper has been dispatched to gather pictorial evidence and is currently camouflaged as a privet hedge outside the young females bathroom with his lens polished and his camera primed.

Snotworthy Littlehampton,
Purveyor of Exquisite Cheese,
OYEAH Design in Pants,
Penal Pint Tomb

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.aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Life's Just Not Fair . . .

Paddy and a Polish immigrant were short listed for a job with a Dublin construction firm.  The manager could not separate them on the strength of their CV's, so he asked them to take a written test.  They agreed.

The test consisted of 20 questions, and both had 19 questions correct.  The manager asked to see Paddy in his office and said that, sadly, he had decided to give the job to the Pole.  

Paddy remonstrated' "BeJasus, boss!  How can ye give the job to a foreigner on the strength of both of us giving one incorrect answer"

"Well you see, son," said the manager, "It was question 7.  The Polish candidate wrote 'I do not know the answer to this question'."

"And . .  " said Paddy.

"And you wrote 'Neither do I'."

Gotta love kids...

This one is for everyone who...
a) has kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this' , and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said ,
'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,'
pretending to eat them..

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied,
'What happened to my bogey?










...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Good on yer, girlfriend

...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.