The Ridlee by Steven Schwarz

The Riddlee

The Riddlee asked the Riddler
“Oh won’t you riddle me?
that I may pass from hence to thence
upon the Count of Three?”

“Just one riddle,” the Riddlee said
“no less nor even more
that I may move along the groove
that leads to the Earl of Four.”

Quoth the Riddler to the Riddlee
“A riddle I’ll contrive
that you may travel across this gravel
towards the Duke of Five.”

“For Fuck’s sake,” quoth the Riddlee
“Quit your stupid tricks
time is fleeting; I’m late for my meeting
with the Marquis at Six!”

The Riddler grinned an evil grin
and counted to eleven
but all four nought: he stopped three short
upon Viscount of Seven.

The Riddlee pondered for a while
then said “I’ll tell you straight:
just add one, now I must run
to meet the Baron Eight.”

Steven Schwarz is a self-styled "unemployed pantheist, provocative iconoclast, abusive solipsist, and failed psychopath." He has written on three and a half continents -- lately in Australia, surrounded by gum-trees and funnelweb spiders. With no visible means of support other than an over-inflated ego, he continues to defy the Second Law of Thermodynamics, leanings towards chaos notwithstanding.