Toothpaste Revenge

Kath's preceding title has prompted me to add this snippet of useless information. It demonstrates the kind of weekend I'm having...

I had toothpaste take it's revenge on me this morning, for all those times I'd sqeedged its tube's belly to get a blob of dentifrice from its orifice to polish my gnashers. I was being a good girl, you see, brushing my teeth after eating breakfast, thus giving it the opportunity to retaliate. It waited until it reached its foamiest, most dribblesome consistency, whereupon it leaped through my brush-ambushed lips, and drolloped half a dozen elongated, oval splodges on my nice, clean sweater. Shall I wear them with pride, as proof of oral hygiene, or shall I discard the jumper, virtually unworn, and use up more water and soap powder than our struggling planet might like? What would you do?

Women's revenge

'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'



...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

SEX at 82!

SEX AT 82!

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 82!


I'm sooooo happy, because I live at 102... so it's not too far to walk home afterwards!






fabulous photo from Geekphilosopher

...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Spud-u-like

Two female potatoes went to their Father with a request to marry the potato of their dreams. The Father potato asked the first potato who did she wish to marry. "Oh I intend to marry a King Edward" she replied. " Of course you can marry that potato" said the father. " A very good pedigree to join with".

He turned to the other daughter " Who do you wish to marry then my dear." " I have promised to marry Des Lynham " she answered. The father looked at her in horror.

You can't marry him my dear he is just a common tator.







...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Smile! it's Sunday

I challenge you NOT to be smiling when you are watching this :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq6b9bMBXpg&feature=player_embedded.








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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Great Days Out No. 1 - The Land Of Lost Content

A terrific little museum in Shropshire we visited recently on the way to Knighton in Powys. Absolutely crammed full of stuff from old gas masks to phtos of Ken Dodd, ancient cereal packets and a jacket worn by Charlton Heston. It reminded me of the art installations of Bruce Lacey and Jeff Nuttall in the basement of Better Books in London in the 60's.

Charlie is my darlin'

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

A Feast of Posters

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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Sharing in Marriage

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.


He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the o ld woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked



'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered





(Continue below - This is great)





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."THE TEETH"
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aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.